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just_1_word | 20.6. Family
Feb. 28th, 2009 02:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
texas33forever20.6. Family
[Canon prompt, spoilers for 3x13 "Tomorrow Blues"]
- Relates to Tim's final Season 3 scene (You Tube clip at the bottom of the prompt)
Billy an’ Mindy were married an’ for the first time in about forever, I thought I might be about t’lose my brother. I ain’t ever been the clingy sort. Hell, I know Billy tried t’be the sort of father figure we never had but it wasn’t like he was ever very good at it. We were brothers an’ buddies an’ he was the one thing in my life that I could always count on. He was always gonna be there but then he was gonna have a wife an’ a kid an’ I was goin’ away t’college because that’s what Lyla wanted.
I really thought he woulda been glad when I told him I wasn’t goin’. I though he woulda been happy I was gonna stay in Dillon an’ do Riggins Riggs t’gether as brothers an’ livin’ like we always have. I wanted him t’tell me he was glad I was stayin’.
But he didn’t. He didn’t want me t’stay. An’ I knew right then that everythin’ was changin’. College wasn’t ever my dream. It was Lyla’s. I was goin’ because I thought it would make her happy but it ain’t ever meant that it was my choice. Goin’ to San Antonio seemed alright if she was gonna be there. At least I wasn’t gonna be alone. The thing is, I kind always knew deep down she an’ I ain’t had stayin’ power in a relationship. She was always gonna move on sometime. I didn’t wanna move on.
I thought if anyone would understand that, it’d be Billy. We were always gonna be a team, Billy an’ me. It was a perfect chance now that I didn’t have t’do nothin’ now that Lyla an’ me had come to an end. Things could stay the same an’ everyone would’ve been happy. But Billy wanted me t’go. Somethin’ ‘bout not bein’ a loser for my kids an’ for his kids. He wanted t’be able t’tell his kids that their uncle ain’t a loser ‘cause he has a degree, even if it took me half my life t’get it an’ I came out with false teeth an’ old persons slippers on. Like me goin’ t’college would make the kids think they can do anythin’…
Or somethin’.
I was listenin’. I was. It just hurt. I shoulda been proud that Billy thought I could go t’college an’ do whatever, but I couldn’t think about a bunch of kids that weren’t there yet or that might never be there. All I could think about was how Billy didn’t want me ‘round no more. He didn’t want me t’help him with the business an’ he wanted me t’go away t’college. He thought I could do it, but I didn’t. Still don’t know if I can. Dunno if it really even matters so much no more ‘cause it wasn’t about Riggins Riggs an’ it wasn’t about arm wrestles or getting drunk every night. It was just one thing…
I was really gonna miss him.
Word Count | 497
[Canon prompt, spoilers for 3x13 "Tomorrow Blues"]
- Relates to Tim's final Season 3 scene (You Tube clip at the bottom of the prompt)
Billy an’ Mindy were married an’ for the first time in about forever, I thought I might be about t’lose my brother. I ain’t ever been the clingy sort. Hell, I know Billy tried t’be the sort of father figure we never had but it wasn’t like he was ever very good at it. We were brothers an’ buddies an’ he was the one thing in my life that I could always count on. He was always gonna be there but then he was gonna have a wife an’ a kid an’ I was goin’ away t’college because that’s what Lyla wanted.
I really thought he woulda been glad when I told him I wasn’t goin’. I though he woulda been happy I was gonna stay in Dillon an’ do Riggins Riggs t’gether as brothers an’ livin’ like we always have. I wanted him t’tell me he was glad I was stayin’.
But he didn’t. He didn’t want me t’stay. An’ I knew right then that everythin’ was changin’. College wasn’t ever my dream. It was Lyla’s. I was goin’ because I thought it would make her happy but it ain’t ever meant that it was my choice. Goin’ to San Antonio seemed alright if she was gonna be there. At least I wasn’t gonna be alone. The thing is, I kind always knew deep down she an’ I ain’t had stayin’ power in a relationship. She was always gonna move on sometime. I didn’t wanna move on.
I thought if anyone would understand that, it’d be Billy. We were always gonna be a team, Billy an’ me. It was a perfect chance now that I didn’t have t’do nothin’ now that Lyla an’ me had come to an end. Things could stay the same an’ everyone would’ve been happy. But Billy wanted me t’go. Somethin’ ‘bout not bein’ a loser for my kids an’ for his kids. He wanted t’be able t’tell his kids that their uncle ain’t a loser ‘cause he has a degree, even if it took me half my life t’get it an’ I came out with false teeth an’ old persons slippers on. Like me goin’ t’college would make the kids think they can do anythin’…
Or somethin’.
I was listenin’. I was. It just hurt. I shoulda been proud that Billy thought I could go t’college an’ do whatever, but I couldn’t think about a bunch of kids that weren’t there yet or that might never be there. All I could think about was how Billy didn’t want me ‘round no more. He didn’t want me t’help him with the business an’ he wanted me t’go away t’college. He thought I could do it, but I didn’t. Still don’t know if I can. Dunno if it really even matters so much no more ‘cause it wasn’t about Riggins Riggs an’ it wasn’t about arm wrestles or getting drunk every night. It was just one thing…
I was really gonna miss him.
Word Count | 497
